Her Happy Rants

despite of having hardship thru my 3 years journey im hoping for better ending for my result for the usrah thingy srs talk, it wasnt fair if they still failed me down i went to usrah in rushing after kursus kahwin i joined every usrah programmes and what i got f.a.i.l.e.d what the SOP thingy tht youve followed? you guys made the students failed and asked for repetition and in the same time yguys said "students are responsible for every thing they had done" even twas not our fault we went to usrah we joined everything every friday we even attend the ceramah-sokseksoksek we even sat for the exam and you-- easily failed us. haih. may we, still have the amanah in ourselves to do every deed that was carried on our shoulders p/s : do pray for my usrah result, i do tawakal, but i do need duas too :)

i kept asking is it my fault or your fault? im in dillema in letting the feelings away --walking away from you it is such a difficult thing ive ever going thru in my whole life despite of everything happened & everything ive done in thought of you'll appreciate me sadly i was wrong my fault. for letting my feelings went over you. i shouldnt do that. i shouldnt. im keeping my feelings inside --the pieces -- the broken --- the me it's okay im okay now even youre still appearing but im okay and better even im no longing let the feelings cuddling me wrapping me like they used to be. i let you go. i am.

lil boy, lil did you know you'd change into the one that i hate the most? lil boy, i do adore how you cared and loved your family rather than your soul but the adore-tion becomes hatred when you turn your soul into black side lil boy, remember -- that sometimes a 'title' could change you becomes that someone you did not want to be lil boy, if i could tick back the clock to the time where all of us sharing joys and tears together -- i really want to do that lil boy, did you already forget that the black heart who you owned now once a pure heart that bonding all of us together? lil boy, we do miss how we shared the laughes & tears together eventho our hearts were crashing at that moment. lil boy, did you forget our friendships? lil boy, did you forget this -- second family? lil boy, hope your black soul that surrounded you now would die in 2 secs -- so that we can share the moments we had created together back. lil boy, we do miss the old y...

And I am me. Funny how things have changed. It is even funnier when the person you hate the most, now, becoming otherwise. You are literally addicted to them. I am literally addicted to him, to you. The hesitation. The thinking. The sudden stop before answering. The trying-not-to-smile. The concentration. The hypercritical. The objective. The resistant. The talk. The smart. The you. Only if saying I am falling for you is easy. And only if you have the same feeling. And only if this is possible. Because, I am almost certain it is not, you are not. I don't know which is weirder. Me, fall for you. Or you, can't feel me already fall for you. Yeah, I like you. I just pretend I don't.

if u asking me what is my wish, i would answer is to love ppl tht i left bcs of my own ego. i mean, its not just loving em back, having em around, make em smile, and all of that heh i know i cant do that but all of i know is i know tht i love them but my ego said no. i dont have an idea wht im talking abt it just im missing em. im not missing em to be around me but their ways to make me smile when they knew i was down. i lost my words, macam biasa, raihan kan.haha. haa haa my monsters were killed (final papersss) just overnight in shah alam, just a night then we'll going back to kedah tomorrow morning, may Allah ease my way. ive done a checklist for this holiday i hope it's not going to happen like before, hehehe. chiao.

Idk maybe i was the one who should be blame for making this thing happened but weih, i just need all of us stay like before seriously, i miss you both it's really dang when this thing happened ppl keep watching our step, our act and ppl already smelled the fishy bcs it's real tuhan, apa sekali lagi ada perpisahan? **shed tears**

Smiling Is Infectious Author Unknown Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu, When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin. When he smiled I realized I'd passed it on to him.  I thought about that smile, then I realized its worth. A single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth.  So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected. Let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected! --- I made a mistake. A mistake. A mistake. It affected me the whole day. The whole day. The whole day. I've tried to forget, and I failed and I stressed. I put all the effort so I wont waste, the time precious time, that I had. Please make it be 'past tense' in the shortime, please, Ooo Allah.  Da di du dada di duu. Yesterday was bad (I would use present continuous tense if 'yesterday' could go with it, only if)...

If you're not ready to take it, Then don't dare to ask in the first place. You're obviously not going to make things better. Instead, you make it worst!

"Awak tahu kenapa kalau kita dah suka orang, kita payah pulak nak undo suka kita?" "Kenapa?" "Inersia,"

"I will scream my voice tonight. Will you hear me?" --- Kadang-kadang, kena ambil masa untuk pejam mata tarik nafas dan lengkapkan balik all the scattered pieces. And somehow, trust me, we let the pieces yang kita pegang erat, kita dakap rapat, to fly far. Further up. Slowly. Until dissapear. Completely. Or at least that is what we believe. No-- Darling. No. It hasn't completely gone. It is somewhere in your heart that softly whispers that it is still there. Somewhere but definitely there.  Catch that piece, darling. Each of them and susun dan jadikanlah dia puzzle yang lengkap sempurna di mata kita.  --- Oh tuhan. Bagilah jalan.

' when things went chaos, all you've to do is smile and walk away ' ---- easy to said but hard to be done maigerd chaos gi-la semua benda, serious la when it comes to me, benda otometik chaotic kehkeh, idc and im sorry for making it hard btw btw btw alotta of things to be clear-down this sem and i promised i'll make it easierrr than before no more gaduh-gaduh benda kecik boleh settle, c'mon teringat what pa said  ' benda kalau kita buat ikhlas sbb Dia, He'll make it smoother than ever ' and i just realised abt it today,  you have my back, director i will lend you my strength, my smile my laughes and all tht i can give. rasa mcm Allah mudahkan satu-satu urusan eventho aku rasa benda tu susah and berat and Alhamdulillah, Allah ease it. it's lavh <3 post lama byk aku buang sbb rasa mcm-- it shouldnt be posted here everyone have skeleton in their closet, so yeah, trashed it off and yada yada y...

Pa, it's been 3 yrs without seeing your smile, it hurts tho but i know u're always watching me, like what He did. I do miss you, always so much, really. Pa, it's hard walking on this dunya without yr words tht always soothing me, gimme strength to kick-away the -ve vibes Pa, How I wish to have you here, again. I know it's impossible, but if He asks me what I want, i'll answer that I only want you back. Pa, I know u wont read this, but Pa, know that I always miss you and loves you :') Pa, If I get another chance to talk with you I will and I do but Pa it's impossible we're far apart... Pa, How are you there? I hope everything tht I did, will give you flowers there, I dont want to see you hurt I dont want you to suffer bcs of my sins. Pa, I will takecare of my pride just to have you again by myside when we're together in There. Pa, do pray for my strength bcs I did lost mine once, it's you. Pa, i...

Dear soul, stop stalking.Idk why though I said I'll buried 'em down but deeply I'm missing 'em badly.How bad they're treating me, still I'm waiting for 'em to come back though I know they'll keep hurting me, thats how love supposed to be (?) I ditch 4 people throughout this hectic year . first, that guy. no, it wasn't my fault after all, I want to takecare of my heart too.I cant keep longing seeing my heart broken into pieces, it hurts.Really :( Yknow, when you loved someone for 5 yrs and suddenly they're gone, how do you feel? I know it's the best decision i'd made though it hurts me somehow and I know it did hurted him too but that's only decision I can made and that's the only way to stop hurting him.I'm really sorry.Allah,forgive me :( second, my-ex listener it was my fault too, taking the bad decision to cut-off our friendship but it hurts me well.when one promised tht she's not gonna spill-out yr probs to oth...

Neverland is home to lost boys like me And lost boys like me are free -- Ruth B // Lost Boy

I owe you a story tht couldnt be spill-out by the lips and rather being swallow through the body. ' I worth my tears for those who loved me.Sincerely ' Told ya, if you just come back just to show me you can move-on well while I cant make even a move, just dont get too close or else I'll harm you out.You once gave me a hope tht I thought it'll be my last one but I simply get it wrong bcs you gave a false hope like how you treated the other girl.I knew the whole stories but I rather keep it in silence bcs I know in the end, I will be the one who'll be blame-off. But, I still built a wall when you make a step forward.I rather step one back backward bcs I know boys are stupid and cant be trust to be in relationship.I swallowed all the things you'd done and rather act like nothing happened while the thing actually happen. You're frankly great as yknow how to melt-down a girl's heart w yr sweet words.The Almighty keep me safe-away from yr sweet words b...